my first REAL entry..

well, today is my first real blahg entry. i know that no one in the world will ever find and read this, but what the hell, right?

anyways.

i worked at home today. we don't have internet access at the office anymore, so i sorta have to. i've been home for like 2 weeks now. i keep thinking about the move home. i'm going to see a house tomrrow. i'm hoping it is going to be great, but for some reason i don't feel like it is going to be what i'm looking for. i realize that it is only going to be a temporary solution until i can build or buy something, but that is likely a year or 2 away, so i need to like it while i'm there.

i'm just afraid it isn't going to be big enough. also afraid it won't have washer/dryer hookups. no dsl right now, but it is supposed to be available by april. we'll see.

i was just sitting here and thinking how cool it is that right now, that little fucking rover is on mars cutting its cable, and getting ready to start moving around, and we are like 40 million miles away..nowhere near that little thing. i don't know...i just think that it is good to sometimes actually stop and take a look at what is going on around us.

sometimes i play this game where i'm driving to work or around town, and i try to imagine that i've never seen any of this before. like lexington is new to me. to make it feel like it does when i actually DO see a new town. sometimes, i'm actually able to do it. to feel like a visitor in a new place. basically, i've been trying to use that same approach to what is happening with the mars rover.

we live in a world where we can't tell what is real and what is not in a movie anymore. everything is assumed. if we don't have it, we soon will. we just haven't decided that we NEED it yet. but we could do it if we wanted to. living in a world like this...it is hard to appreciate great things when they happen. everyone thinks it is no big deal. in some ways, i think that after we landed on the moon, the dreamer in all of us sort of died.

there was nowhere left to explore. we'd been to space, and now we had conquered the moon. what is left? what can impress after something like that? the funny thing is, growing up, i had no idea that we had been to the moon more than once. NONE. i didn't know it until the movie Apollo 13 came out. no one ever bothered to mention it. we've been to the moon...yadda yadda yadda. that's it! that is how unimportant it became to everyone. nevermind what an amazing feat it was that we even GOT to the fucking thing! we went back! again and again! it wasn't until people almost DIED trying to go back that anybody even took notice again! hell...i'm betting i'm not the only one that had to learn about the other trips from that movie. we are a nation that relies on movies to teach us history. movies have altered the way we SEE reality.

i think that is also why no one worries about a huge fucking screaming fireball the size of texas slamming into the globe. because the movie armageddon already told us that all we need to do is fire some drillers up there with a nuclear weapon to blow the fucker apart, and all will be ok. doesn't it scare the shit out of anyone else to know that we HAVE no plan if a huge fucking screaming fireball the size of texas starts heading this way? doesn't it scare anyone to know that when it comes right down to it, the people in charge of saving our lives...no...of saving the HUMAN RACE..may have to actually borrow an idea FROM A FUCKING MOVIE?!? SHIT! IT SCARES THE FUCK OUT OF ME!

but not enough to worry about. =)